Carson Sasser
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PETA Wants to "Save the Sea Kittens"

I've decided that being stupid is a requirement for joining People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. In fact, I visited their website to try to confirm this but couldn't find any way to contact them except through snail mail.

Their "Save the Sea Kittens" campaign convinced me that stupidity must be a requirement. The goal of this campaign is to replace the word "fish" with "sea kitten." They believe this will cause people to start thinking of fish as warm and cuddly rather than slimy and thorny. They want us to think of them as pets rather than meals. They point out that most people would never consider hooking a kitten in the mouth and dragging it toward them. I agree but I've never found any kittens in the lake, river or sea (live ones that is).

PETA members and their sympathizers want to redefine reality. (Actually they most likely don't know that's what they're trying to do. Remember, they're stupid.)  They ignore or are unaware of the fact that warm and cuddly kittens grow up to be natural killers. Given the chance they will kill and eat a small animal in a heartbeat. In fact, they will kill even when they aren't hungry. Male cats will kill their own male offspring to prevent them from becoming competitors when they mature. Yes, cats make nice lovable pets but they also remain true to their instincts.

Most fish eat other fish to survive. The fish you refuse to hook while thinking of it as a kitten stands a good chance of being swallowed by another fish before the day is over. If not it will eat several others before a hard-hearted fisherman comes along and hooks it. There are also fish that will attack and maim or kill you without a second thought. (Actually without any thought. Their IQ is comparable to that of a PETA member.)

These are the same people who presume to speak for cows in demanding that we stop eating beef. (Don't confuse this with the Chick-Fil-A cows' campaign.) If I were a cow I'd say don't do me any favors. If we stop eating beef the only cows we might need are those producing milk and butter, but we have already learned how to produce that without cows.

I really don't think PETA's "Save the Sea Kittens" campaign will succeed. As far as I know no one has perfected kitty litter that works underwater.


Comments

18 Jan 09, 9:28pm

I remember seeing that campaign and blanching (I'm actually a subscriber to the PETA e-newsletter to make a regular feature on my website mocking them. Wasn't worth the effort.)

To be fair, I actually agree with a fair bit of what they do, but they mix it up with so much foolishness it's hard to actually admit it.

19 Jan 09, 8:26am

I'm dispensing a bit of hyperbole here. I don't actually believe that they're all stupid, but it's quite obvious that some of them are.

20 Jan 09, 12:15pm

Another classic humor-filled piece of wisdom. Love it.

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